Rednecks in Training

I very rarely buy my boys new clothing. It seems like the only time I buy them new clothes is in emergency situations. For instance, when Noah was 6 months old we went out of state for the weekend. For our two day trip, I must have packed close to fifteen outfits. Shockingly, that was not enough. After a "terrible incident" on the way home, we had to stop for an emergency diaper change and purchase a new outfit for the remainder of the ride.

We have been very blessed to have had many clothes given to us. Bags and bags of clothing have been passed on to my children. They are great clothes too! Most kids grow so fast that their clothes look almost new. Yesterday Jeremy brought home two bags of clothing given to us by a coworker of his. As I sorted through the clothing I began to realize something. My boys have more overalls than the local FFA!

I counted about twenty pairs of overalls in their closets. They have denim overalls, plaid overalls, striped overalls and even camo overalls! I can't help but wondering, do we give off some kind of redneck vibe?

Play-doh.........Uh-oh

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The following is a letter that I have written to the makers of play-doh. Don't worry. I'm not really sending it. I'm just being silly and venting.

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Dear Hasbro,

  You've got some HUGE fans in the Jobson household! We just can't get enough of  Play-doh. We love your product. We play with it everyday. I am amazed at the fact that Play-doh now comes in 50 colors! I recently discovered the colors silver and gold. Also,  I can't tell you how much I love, how easy it is to clean up (even when it gets into your ears and hair.)


However, I do have one concern. Why do you make it taste so good? I cannot keep my two year old from sneaking a few bites each time we play with it. If he is not eating it, he is licking it! Thank goodness it is non-toxic. But really, why do you make it taste so good? When my son asks for Play-doh he says, "Mmmmm, Play-doh?" On top of that, you create molds and products to make Play-doh look like even more delicious foods: cake, ice cream, pizza, etc.


Might I make a suggestion? Maybe you could change the flavor of Play-doh to make it less appealing. I bet veggie flavored Play-doh would work well. Spinach flavor would likely keep most children from eating it. If not, then at least it would encourage kids to eat their veggies at dinner time. How about dirt flavor or soap? In the meantime, I will do my best to limit my child's intake of the "molding compound." 


Sincerely,
Concerned Mom

Wal-Mart People

This is absolutely terrifying. Today I stumbeled across the website

http://www.peopleofwalmart.com


This website is devoted to displaying pictures of the most outrageous Wal-Mart customers. I'm not referring to crazy mullets or missing teeth kinda stuff. I'm talking downright out-of-your-mind outrageous. There are over 2,000 pictures (with more added daily) of the kinda stuff you only see at Wal-Mart. I admit, as I skimmed through some of the pictures, I nearly peed my pants from laughing so hard!

WARNING: This website (http://www.peopleofwalmart.com) is not suitable for children. There are some pretty disturbing images.I wouldn't recommend visiting this site while eating either!

Now this is why I find it so terrifying. I fear that I may be on it! Seriously, let me explain. This past winter, when I was about 7 months pregnant, Noah and I went to Wal-Mart. Of course, when you're pregnant, you have to pee like every five minutes. So our first stop was the ladies room. I HATE public restrooms but I really had no choice. Noah was about 18 months old at the time. We hurried in and we hurried out. As we stepped out of the restroom something caught Noah's eye. He had a complete meltdown and refused to come with me. Meanwhile, I noticed sort of a draft. So here we are. Front and center of Wal-Mart. Noah is screaming, kicking, punching and rolling around on the floor. Here I am, BIG pregnant mama wrestling with him in an effort to pick him up off the floor and place him in a cart. We had everyone's attention at this point.

So let me tell you about this draft that I felt. I was wearing a tunic (looked more like moo moo) over a pair of tights. In my hurry to do my business and exit the restroom as quickly as possible, I managed to tuck the back of my tunic into my tights. Yep, everyone got a nice good look at my butt. It must have been exposed for a good sixty seconds before I was even aware of what was going on.

It's 2010 and just about everyone I know has a cell phone equipped with a built-in camera. I worry that someone was quick enough to snap a picture of the incident. Well, I looked through about 50 of the 2,000+ pictures and the good news is that so far I wasn't one of them.

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P.S. This didn't stop me from from finishing my grocery shopping! Am I a trooper or what?!?

Terrible Twos are Here!

It hardly seems possible but today is Noah's second birthday.  Wow, time flies! I remember the day he came into this world like it was yesterday. It certainly wasn't your typically Hollywood birth that's seen on television and in the movies. My water did not break in public, there was no hoo hoo-hee hee breathing technique,  I definitely didn't break Jeremy's hand during the looong labor and not one curse word came out of my mouth the entire day!

I did however, stop for taco bell while in route to the hospital. I had an epidural (one of the scariest parts of the day.) I visited with family and friends during the hours before Noah made his appearance. I recall hearing about the guessing game family played in the waiting room. They each guessed what Noah's birth weight would be. No one could have imagined that he would be close to 9 lbs!

I had never been more scared before in my life nor had I ever been in so much pain. I felt like I had been hit by a bus. I couldn't even get myself out of bed to go to the bathroom, how was I suppose to care for a newborn?!? I was very thankful that Noah was healthy and I was especially thankful for all of the support during those first few days after the delivery. I don't mean to brag or anything but I've keep him alive for two years! Now that's worth celebrating!

Duct Tape really does fix everything!

Noah has been especially challenging today.

He has taken his pants and his diaper off three times. Two messes later (just pee) and three unnecessary diaper changes, I've decided we need to fix this problem once and for all. I fear that the next time this happens, I could be cleaning up more than just pee!




So, I pulled out the good old duct tape. I'm sure you can guess what happens next. Yup, I put his new diaper on him and proceeded to wrap duct tape around the lil stinkers waist. Let's see him get that diaper off!

It's unfortunate that this whole duct tape thing counteracts potty training. Let's hope tomorrow is a better day!

Mmmmmmmmm Cookies!

Last night was the start of our new youth program at Nashua Baptist Church, Revive. I know I really enjoyed it. I hope the students did too! Youth ministry is the passion that brought Jeremy and I together. I can't express how wonderful it feels to do what God has called you to do: SERVE HIM.

The night started out with a bunch of teenagers and all the ingredients they needed (and more) to make cookies. I'm sure it sounded completely lame at first. What teenager wants to bake cookies? It turned out really fun though. No recipe was given. The students had to make the cookies without any directions or help. There were two groups competing to see whose cookies turned out the best.

It was interesting to watch. At the same time it was scary. We were still debating which adult would "judge" the cookies. Thankfully, it was not me! I'm pretty sure one group used enough salt to melt an ice covered parking lot. While the cookies turned out edible (I use that word loosely) they were definitely not good.

Without a recipe or directions, it's hard to make cookies. It's the same way with life. The Bible gives us a "recipe" or directions on how to live. Without the Bible we are completely lost. Sometimes we don't even know it! One group of students created some pretty good looking cookies. At first it looked like cookie dough and it even tasted like cookie dough. But when we put them in the oven they morphed into.... well, they definitely weren't cookies and they sure didn't taste like it either. Sometimes we live a good life. We are happy, successful and even though we may have a few bad ingredients in us, overall we look like good cookies. It just not enough though to look like a good cookie. God created us for more. Without the Bible we'll never be who God created us to be!

Dirty Jobs: A Day in the Life of a Mom

It's been over 30 days now since we gave up our cable television. Do I miss it? Not really. Am I sick of watching the same Veggie Tales video over and over? Heck Yeah!

I was just thinking about how nice it is to have dinner without the television on in the background. We used to sit in front of the TV every time we ate. Jeremy always seemed to find the greatest shows to watch while eating (sarcasm). His favorite program to watch while enjoying dinner was the Discovery Channel's, Dirty Jobs. Who wouldn't want to watch someone scrape up road kill, repair a septic tank or assist a cow giving birth all while snacking on chili cheese fries?

Mike Rowe needs to come out for a day and follow me around. I don't believe I've seen any stay at home moms featured on the show. As a matter of fact, taking care of two little boys, a husband and a home has to be the dirtiest job I know of! Before lunch today I was spit up on twice, drooled on, peed on, pooped on, and had snot wiped on me. Not to mention I  had to change a "blow out." I'm not talking about a tire, I'm talking about pampers! Same thing everyday. Dirty socks and underwear to wash. Cereal dumped in the floor. Boogers wiped on the window. Don't even get me started on Noah's new "paintings." Let's just say they are a form of "art" that will have you gagging!

Helping Hands

Noah has become such a wonderful big brother. He is mommy's little helper too!  I've taught him how to help with the laundry, dishes, and he even likes to sweep the kitchen floor. I'm not expecting this to last long though.

When it comes to caring for Asa, Noah is always willing to lend a hand. Diaper changings, feedings, baths, you name it, Noah is there! A few weeks ago I gathered up the baby wash, shampoo, wash cloths and rubber ducky. I filled our newborn tub about half way with warm water. Bath time is one of Noah's favorite activities. I didn't want Noah to be jealous of Asa's bath so I decided to include him. I even gave Noah his own wash cloth so that he could help wash Bubby. What a great idea! Everything was going smooth. Noah was happy that he was included and Asa really enjoyed the attention as well as the relaxing warm water.

I was shampooing Asa's hair, when he suddenly startled. His arms sprung up, his eyes opened wide and he let out a cry.  Noah had just poured water from his wash cloth all down Asa's front side. OH NO! Was the water too hot?!? What have I done? I quickly snatched the wash cloth away from Noah only to find that it was cold water that had startled Asa. Cold water? Asa's bath water was warm. Where did Noah get cold water? Then it hit me. I was too wrapped up in bathing Asa to notice that Noah was getting water out of the toilet! Yes, Noah dipped his wash cloth in the toilet and used it to wash Asa. Toilet water. Since then, I have decide that it would be best to just put on a movie for Noah and give Asa his bath alone. What can I say? You live, you learn.