Noah's Christmas List

Christmas is quickly approaching and I've already been asked, "What would Noah like for Christmas?" So I asked him. Since I know it is quite difficult to understand Noah's speech, I will go ahead and translate his wishes to the rest of the world. Now, remember this is what he asked for.

1.) No noise makers
2.) No assembly required
3.) No batteries required
4.) No small parts
5.) Nothing containing many pieces
6.) No animals
7.) No hand-wash only clothing
8.) No dry-clean only clothing
9.) No white clothing
10.) No, No, No Musical instruments!!!!

Thank you! Have a wonderful and blessed Holiday Season!

Christmas 2009

The Pearly Gates

 

I received the following e-mail this morning for the 109th time.

A fellow finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates.
St. Peter explains that its not so easy to get in heaven.
There are some criteria before entry is allowed.
For example, was the man religious in life? Attend church? No?
St. Peter told him that's bad.
Was he generous? give money to the poor? Charities? No?
St. Peter told him that that too was bad.
Did he do any good deeds? Help his neighbor? Anything? No?
St. Peter was becoming concerned. Exasperated, Peter says, "Look, everybody does something nice sometime.
Work with me, I'm trying to help. Now think!"

The man says, "There was this old lady. I came out of a store and found her
surrounded by a dozen Hell's Angels. They had taken her purse and were shoving
her around, taunting and abusing her. I got so mad I threw my bags down,
fought through the crowd, and got her purse back. I then helped her to her feet.
I then went up to the biggest, baddest biker and told him how despicable,
cowardly and mean he was and then spat in his face".

"Wow", said Peter, "That's impressive. When did this happen"?
"Oh, about 10 minutes ago", replied the man. 

I have heard some funny "pearly gate" jokes over the years. Most of them allude to men earning their way into heaven. I am so thankful we don't have to earn our way into heaven. That's right, it doesn't matter how good you are, the Bible makes it clear that you cannot earn your way into heaven. Going to church doesn't get you in nor does being generous or caring. 

  

(Ephesians 2:8-9) - "For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, that no one should boast."

I admit that I am so far from perfect and would never make it to heaven on my own. Thank you God for your amazing gift of grace to your children.

******************************************

I realize that not everyone shares the same views. I'd love to hear your thoughts on what happens after death. I just ask that you are respectful of others.

 

My First Book

Marriage is hard work. So many people told me that before I got married. I honestly had no idea. My (naive) reply was, "well, we really love each other."

Jeremy and I received premarital counseling by the minister who married us. Looking back there is one major issue that was not addressed during this time... How to Share a Bed with Your Significant Other. Wow, talk about a major issue faced by couples around the world!

 

There are so many conflicts that arise from sharing a bed. This is exactly what I mean when I say I am still learning to coexist with my other half. For nineteen years I slept in a bed by myself. It was twenty years for Jeremy, then one day, we say I do and everything changes. How can two individuals make such a dramatic change work?!

Jeremy prefers the temperature to be below freezing and I have to admit that I am not a fan of frostbite. During our first fall together as a married couple, I had a small space heater on my side of the bed and he had a small fan on his side. Counterproductive, maybe. I'd like to think we were just compromising.

I just can't understand why someone that feels the need to keep the temperature setting so low also feels the need to hog the blanket! Yes, most nights I awake to find that my share of our blanket has disappeared and I am left to tolerate the cold on my own.

I will never forget the first time this happened. I was shivering to death as I tapped Jeremy on the shoulder and sweetly whispered, "I'm c-c-c-c-cold. Can I have some covers?" My dear husband was more than willing to comply. Tragically, the moment I sat up to help myself to the blanket, he powerfully threw his arm back to cover me back up. The result was his fist very suddenly meeting my face.

Now, I know this was an accident and Jeremy apologized sincerely. This could have been avoided had we known beforehand the difficulties of sharing a bed. I am certainly no marriage expert but I'd love to see someone tackle this pressing topic. In my spare time (lol, like that exists) I'll be writing my first book appropriately titled, How to Share a Bed with Your Significant Other. I'll be addressing key complaints such as...

"My husband snores too loud!"

"Help, my wife is torturing me with her ice cold feet."

"My significant other won't stop passing gas in the middle of the night!"

"My wife's hairy legs feel like a cactus."

"I can't stand my spouse's terrible morning breath!"

"My husband could fillet a fish with those toenails!"

For now, I'd love to hear your bedtime complaints as well as any advice you may have to offer!

I'd like to thank...

Look what I got...

Ramblings of a Frantic Mother gave me this award a few weeks ago. How sweet was that?!?! And I thought only my mom read my blog. 

Thanks Frantic Mom!

Future Voter

 

 

 

Noah proudly displays his sticker for voting yesterday

First of all, I'd like to apologize to anyone voting at precinct 40.01 yesterday that may have been bothered by my "future voter."

Second of all, if I can take two small children with me to vote, there is nothing I can't do. (Apparently there are many things I cannot do!)

I waited till about 2 o'clock in the afternoon yesterday to venture out to the polls. I figured that would be the slow time of day. Much to my surprise, the polls were still very busy. I picked up my ballot and with a baby carrier in one hand, Noah in the other, I pressed the ballot between my lips so I could shuffle to a table. "Ma'am, that is no way to treat an official ballot."

I sat down at a table. Asa was asleep peacefully in  his car seat (thank God!) I sat Noah in the chair next to me and said, "shhh, we must be very quiet." He smiled back at me, held his finger up to his mouth and repeated the words back. I began filling out my ballot as quickly as possible.

Within moments, Noah began waving and shouting hi to everyone in the room. Only a few people cared enough to glance up from their ballots. After another "shhh" from me, Noah proceeded to remove his jacket, shoes and socks! Oh well, at least he is being quiet I thought.

I only had two more circles to fill in when Noah suddenly jumped out of his chair and made a run for it. He went straight for the voting booths (all of which were full.) He was running right underneath them! I had no choice but to get down on my hands and knees and go after him. I didn't have a chance to look around but I'm pretty sure we had everyone in the rooms attention.

Noah must have thought this was a game. When he saw me coming after him, he started laughing and ran faster! I don't know what I would have done if a poll worker wouldn't have stepped in to catch him. *Sigh* In a frustrated tone she said to me, "I'll get his shoes back on him while you turn your ballot in."

I rushed through the rest of my ballot before turning it in. I gathered my belongings and we were (shamefully) on our way out the door but not before Noah had a chance to tell everyone bye!

I just pray that in the future I am still allowed to vote. If I am, I am soooo leaving the kids in the car! (Not really but it's tempting)

Mommy's Lil Monsters

We had a wonderful Halloween!

The boys were not thrilled about wearing costumes at first.

 

 

 Eventually they got used to them

 My crazy lil monkey

 My sweet lil banana

I hope you all had a wonderful Halloween too. I'm so ready for Christmas now!

Kids in Cars

Is it ever OK to leave a little kid in a car alone? Even for just a second?


I haven't but I've got to admit the thought has crossed my mind more than once.

It's frustrating that sometimes it takes longer to get the boys out of the car than it does to run an errand. I hate returning our Red Box dvds. Seriously, it takes like 30 seconds to return the DVD but 10 minutes to get the boys out of the car and back in again. I just CAN'T leave them in there alone though. I mean what if someone steals them?! Ahhhhh. (I know they'd bring them back after 30 minutes.)


Well, I think I've answered my own question. I'll never forget my older brother David putting our vehicle in drive (on more than one occasion). I jumped out the back as our van rolled slowly down the street. Once he drove our Blazer right into the garage door! He did all of this with adults just a feet away (sneaky kid!)


I guess I should be thankful Noah can't get out of his car seat by himself.